American in Shanghai

I used to have a student named Kyung Sik.  He was fond of saying "Not funny," mimicking a teacher I am sure.  Well the following three *posts* if they could be called that, caused me to laugh out loud.  I hope one or two or all of them will do the same for you.  A good laugh counts for a lot. [Disclaimer: These first two come from the cheeky Shanghai community-ish website 'smartshanghai' - I had nothing to do with their composition. I am shamelessly ripping these off and reposting them here. The last comes from shanghaiexpat.com] >>>>> A shy gentleman was preparing to board a plane when he heard that the Pope was on the same flight. "This is exciting," thought the gentleman. I've always been a big fan of the Pope. Perhaps I'll be able to see him in person. Imagine his surprise when the Pope sat down in the seat next to him for the flight. Still, the gentleman was too shy to speak to the Pontiff. Shortly after take-off, the Pope...

Wake up.  The light is earlier and earlier, helping me rise with it.  Make a cup of coffee.  Wash some spinach and create a ten minute breakfast of a spinach and cheddar omelette, a piece of toasted walnut bread and a sip or two of grapejuice to wash down some extra vitamin B complex and cod liver oil.  Morning Popeye power. Take the bike to work.  About 5 near misses with people who cut me off or drive the wrong way in the oncoming lane, someone stopping in the middle of a lane with no warning and no apparent reason.  Homeroom: 14 energetic middle school students playing guitars and hand drums, some doing homework and getting measurements for an upcoming fashion show assembly. Block One:  plan for the Piano Class, First grade and Band Class today.  Decide an appropriate piece for upper school students to transition to listening and musical thinking.  Today: Piazzolla's "Autumn" for piano trio.  Hopefully it loads correctly ...

Szechuan Spicy Wontons Makes about 50 wontons (Feeds 6)   Filling: 1.5 lbs ground pork (half fatty/half lean) 1/2 lb shrimp, peeled and deveined 2 Large pieces Woodear Fungus, soaked and chopped finely 1/4 cup green onion, chopped finely Soy Sauce Hoisin Sauce Sesame Oil Sugar 2 packs Shanghai Style dumpling wrappers, square kind (they are white, as opposed to the yellow Cantonese-style wrappers)   Dressing : Chili Oil Vinegar Garlic, finely minced 1/4 bunch cilantro, roughly chopped 2 stalks scallions, rougly chopped   Combine your pork, shrimp, green onion and woodear fungus. I find that the best way to mix your filling is to lay it all out on large cutting board and mince it up with a cleaver. Incorporate the soy, hoisin, sesame oil, and sugar to taste. Mince until you have a fine paste. Place a quarter-size amount of meat in the center of the wrapper. Dip your finger in a cup of water and trace the water around half the dumpling, it will act as glue when you ...